Ask Nana: The Stages Of Grief

For all of us folks who are able to empathize with one another and with the feelings of overwhelming loss. Let us remember that grieving can come in many forms from the loss of a phone number to the loss of the entire home in a storm. All are losses, some necessary, some accidental, all cause a moment in the "grief seat". Let's also understand that grief, like any other emotion is an energy, that carries a frequency that affects you and everyone and everything around you.

Now, let's move this to a larger more global perspective.

Imagine the avalanche of feelings that come over you after a loss, or the loss of a loved one. Imagine the weakening in the knees, the guttural cry, the remorse and despair, and imagine that energy, that frequency flowing out all over the planet and out into the Cosmos surrounding this planet.

Now take a trip to a war torn country, where the loss is insurmountable, and includes loved ones, infrastructure, wild life, vegetation and cultural identity. See yourself in the middle of that. What would you feel?

No one's grief can be measured by another or qualified by another.. but we can all identify and we all can say "NO" to war!!! We certainly have little control over what Mother Nature can do. But we do have something that we can do about man's inhumanity to man. So let's do it! 

I too am a Medium and a Mental Health professional. If my clients allow me, I will weave into the Counseling session some spiritual tips that they can use to help them through it. If not, then I strongly encourage the Counseling route because the loss of a loved one can be devastating, confusing and quite disruptive to your lifestyle, if nothing else, I mean you barely get time to grieve, you have to do all the "arrangements", families tend to show their "arses" when someone dies, and it's a mess. In more traditional societies, like in Ghana West Africa, you don't even bury them right away!!They also know that the soul is still near the body, and if it was a tragedy, the Spirit might be wondering what happened and trying to figure it out. The body of the loved one has to be taken care of too. People may be inhibited by their customs, spiritual beliefs, religious doctrines and a host of other indicators that make it harder to adjust to the loss. So, yeah, I agree, it's a spiritual matter, but in the absence of or in addition to, counseling helps. Again that is a personal decision. 

The way and individual grieves has a lot to do with how they "feel" and how they allow themselves to "feel" in varying situations. 

• How comfortable are they with being vulnerable? 
• How comfortable are they with their own feelings of happiness. 
• How expressive are they sexually?  
• How were they raised? By an authoritarian parent who did not allow them to cry, or by a nurturing parent who let them cry and then asked them what was wrong. 
• How are they when it comes to intimate interactions, like sharing a very personal moment, idea, feeling or impression. 
• Do they dream? 
• Do they dream in color? 
• Are they creative? 
• What do they do for a living? 
• Do they have a sense of humor?
• Are they in the military? 
• Do they love nature?
• Are they empathic?
• How do they hug?

These and so many other questions must be answered in order to really understand another's grieving process. No two are alike.

It can also be said that the loss of a loved one can cause the most composed person to lose all composure and wilt. They may show characteristics that no one expected, quite out of the norm for them, but in some ways, very releasing.

"Sometimes I'm in a upswing then I backswing. 

Then there are days I'm all over the place. Grief has no time limit."

"Remember that significant people or pets don't have to die to incite the grief process in someone's life - imho a slow moving terminal disease or unexpected debilitating event can throw a character into the grief vortex as well."

Grief is not just about a loss of someone. It can be loss of everything and anything which you felt good about or loved. This is classic, an example of which would be after a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, earthquake, or aerial bombing, still birth, even abortion (quiet as it's kept, women do have a grieving process after an abortion, stillbirth or miscarriage.) And we have all seen the hysteria that takes over a woman when she loses "Mr. Right" not to mention divorce and it's impact on "men"!

Affirming of the strength of the human spirit.

There's strength of the human spirit and then there's denial. And sometimes folks cannot tarry too long in the grieving process because they have to "get on with life". You can see the residuals to that process later down the line when they start to, or shall I say continue to, self medicate, some even do it to the point of addiction, all to get away from the pain, another side effect of the grieving process.

When you love someone you share an energetic exchange. It could be on many levels, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even if there is an exchange of goods ans services. Every thing is energy, so as I am writing these words, I am sharing a bit of myself with you. If we became FB friends and we continued to communicate, we would be sharing our thoughts and feelings this way. 

Thoughts and feelings are parts of us as much as anything that we can materialistic identify. What we tend to forget is that the connection is electro-magnetic and like any plug that is unplugged, especially abruptly, there is a noticeable decrease in the energetic exchange. On the other hand, if we realize that energy is invisible, it can be measured to some degree and they have instruments to monitor it, but it is basically invisible. What I am getting at, is that sometimes, we are able to connect MORE with our loved ones in the Spirit Realm than we are in the Physical Realm because they have little barrier for preventing our energetic exchange. We see this when they appear in dreams, sometimes so real, when we wake up we believe we have just been with them. And we have, but it's hard to believe that because they are not "with us" upon awakening. But they are with us, they simply are in another form. We have become so dependent on their physical form we forgot they were Spirit having a Physical experience, as are we, so yes, "a little piece of us goes with them", but a little piece of them stays with us.

"Therefore the physical world cannot be anything but a manifestation of the psychic in its basic rootedness and concurrence with the psychic. It follows that the messages that one discovers in contemplating the phenomena, as “given,” of the physical world are endless.  And they are messages both universal and personal, corresponding … exactly, one might guess … to the fact of there being shared physical realities as well as individual physical realities—that is, spaces which one sees in one’s unique way, or in which one has sole or near-sole dominion."

“We Are then Simple Awareness, Simple Foci of Consciousness in the Vast Expanse of the Universe”: Matter as Metaphor, Part Seven: We Are Stars Are Us.

Pasted from <https://angelsinnature.wordpress.com/2012/12/02/the-transformational-element-of-ufo-abductions-and-its-blow-to-materialism-we-are-being-booted-into-a-higher-awareness-and-a-need-to-save-the-planet/> 

NB Commentary: All I know Beloved... - Humanity Healing Community

 All I know Beloved... - Humanity Healing Community

 

See Below: Posted by Brenda Tenerelli TWIN-FLAMES REUNITED

I must admit that I am subscribed to several, "Love & Light" blogs, message groups, etc. I even have a few UFO connections as well. With all this Ascension, Elevation, Step Into Your Light Body, Meditate, Activate Your Merkaba, etc., etc., etc., I find it interesting that a poem like this was written.

I have come to the understanding that most folks just don't realize that they are making Cosmic Contracts, particularly when they add words like, "forever", "everlasting", "Only", "till Eternity and Beyond" and various other superlatives that they are creating a Cosmic Contract that they will have to fulfill at some future date.

Why do I say that? Okay, let's simply be practical. When you send out a request, to the Creator, Higher Power, God, Allah, or whatever you choose to call it, you want to be heard and you want whatever you are asking for to come to you. You do not want there to be any analysis of your demands, hence, you want them to come through as you have put them out there. But it seems that when it comes to love we tend to feel that by saying words like "I will always love you" and "You are the only one for me" we think we are not expected to mean it exactly, or that some analysis should be made to determine if that person is really the "only one for us". And, just in case they are not,  we seek intervention and/or a way out.

We glamorize soul mating, and twin flaming as if these constructs are salvation to the lonely heart searching here and there for that "ONE". How is it that "ONE" person can put it all together for you if you can just "find" them? Why are we lost, lonely, sad, depressed, when we don't find them? And what happens when we make a mistake in our judgment and find out that that soul mate is more like a cell mate and that twin flame is more like a torturous flame that can't seem to be put out?

Each and every day, we are bombarded with things to be fearful of, our neighbor, the landlord, the dog, the man in a hoodie, the babysister, the pedophile who lurks in the dark corners of the school yard. We are afraid of GMO's, preservatives, pesticides, chemtrails, and disease. We mistrust the media, our governments, our leaders, our courts and our churches. We feel lied to at every turn, lost and abandoned on a Prison Planet that seems to care less about our well being and only want us well enough to devour our essence. So, it would seem that the only and best recourse from these terrors is to find a "SOUL MATE" or "TWIN FLAME" who will wrap us up in joyfulness and make it all better. We find them and then hold on to them for dear life, as though they are a life raft, never realizing that they are just as frightened and wounded as we are. Yet, we do this over and over and over again. Placing ourselves in co-dependent relationships where we become the addict and the enabler, switching roles as the situations merit.

Imagine this, with words like " For Eternity" how long does that last exactly? And how powerful are those words when spoken at the height of passion? Can we really back track, 6 months, 6 years, 6 decades later and say, "Dang, did I really mean for eternity? That's a hell of a long time!"

What I am trying to convey here, is that with all the above mentioned concerns that we have, putting another fear laced noose around our necks has got to be counterproductive. For those of us who may fashion the idea of re-incarnation, remember, that you said, "For All Of Eternity" and beyond. That contract doesn't cease when you die. I am making an assumption here, but I would guess that all the "Love & Light" folks believe on some level in re-incarnation. With that being said, would it not be prudent to be cautious about who you pledge your undying love for? Realistically, wouldn't you be tying yourself to this person till the end of time, life time, after lifetime, after lifetime?

And for those who believe there is no coming back, then how does the words "For all Eternity" play out when it ends after you leave this life? Are you being honest when you make that pledge to another, knowing in your sphere of awareness, you could never fulfill that promise cause the only thing that will live for all of eternity is your immortal soul and surely your immortal soul has no use for individualized co-dependent love relationships built on storybook fantasies.

And for all those atheists out there, who happen to "fall" in love and want to pledge their undying commitment to another human person... How does forever line up in your estimation? In what state or form will you be fulfilling this cosmic contract?

Ironically, it seems the program that has been installed on this planet encourages this debilitating way to "love another" in interpersonal relationships. It seems the program has deep seeded denial as an integral part of how it operates.  This denial causes cognitive dissonance as we ingrain our hearts and minds with the ideology of "Romantic", "Erotic", and I might add "Hapless" Love between Mary and John.  This program encourages selflessness, sacrifice, denial, martyrdom, dependence, deprivation, etc. all for the sake of the "Beloved", the assumed "Only Person" for you. Consequently, year after year, month after month, day after day, is spent trying and trying and trying to make the "Beloved" fit into the mold so that they can be your "Soul Mate" or "Twin Flame" or object of your adoration. Imagine two people doing this to each other!!!!!

My question is, what happens to all that "undying love" when the real lights come on and you see this person you were so infatuated with for who they truly are? What happens when the yoke is broken or the flame goes out? What happens when you once thought it would work, but now see it won't and you have to move on? What happens then? Do you send an S.O.S. out to the Universe and say, "Listen, I know I was all in when I was with that other person, but I ain't with them no more, so can you cancel that check and write me another?" Well, the reality is, it will take an eternity to get that check cancelled, it will take forever to get that promise fulfilled and it will be a really, really long time, as we humans measure time, it for that "promise" to dissipate.

Solution: Be so very, very careful about what you say in the fit of passion, love making or when you have become so caught up in this other person whom you feel is your "Soul Mate" or "Twin Flame".

Avoid superlatives like "forever" eternity, end of time as much as possible.

If you have a strong attraction to someone and feel enveloped by it, stay in the present with it.

      
Promising anyone eternity is quite disingenuous and very unauthentic as having little or no grasp on what that concept means, we really have no idea of what it will look like in the so-called real world.

Interpersonal relationships are wonderful when they are harmonious, fruitful, uplifting, creative, etc. They also bring various challenges to help those involved deal with their own stuff. But binding yourself into a relationship with one person forever can be very disconcerting. How can anyone come through on that promise, not knowing what forever even looks and feels like?


As human beings on this planet, we have a lot to learn about ourselves, each other, and the planet upon which we dwell. I believe that one of our biggest lessons is learning unconditional love. that is a love that seeks no thing in return, a love that has no selfish motives or expectations, a sort of Agape love that is reflected in all of our interactions with all whom we come in contact with. It's a type of Universal love that loves the Divine within all things, Namaste, neither grasping, holding, begging, needing or wanting, but recognizing the Divine In All, and the All in All of Creation. Loving with an open hand and heart rather than a closed fist and mind. That kind of love is scary, and challenges all of our desire to "possess" our "Beloved" so no one else can have them. Is this truly what the "Love & Light" movement is about?  How can devotion to one Human being for all of eternity be a healing force for this planet filled with selfish possessive beings?

All I know Beloved... - Humanity Healing Community
Posted by Brenda Tenerelli on August 20, 2015 at 9:15pm in TWIN-FLAMES REUNITED

All I know Beloved, is that I have you and a place to not only go to, but “Be in Forever” and that you will never let go of ME, FOREVER!
There is No Beyond than You, Beloved!
I do not see Beyond YOU & your Divine arms.

Tried to see but there is nothing beyond them & that's my honest truth Beloved. Even if there is, if something or someone exists, I do not wanna have it nor see it (not without you Beloved), for you are all there is BELOVED! I will see all I see with you or not at all.
My story has begun, has been, IS and will be FOREVER with You.
Our love has no ending, nowhere in this world, any dimensions or Universe ... any way Beloved. OUR LOVE is LIMITLESS, FREELY FLOWING & UNCONDITIONAL
"For the joy that overflows my cup
Heaven filled me with more than enough"
This beautiful sentiment BELOVED, my soul is sanctified with, which is my true blessing. Everything else or rest all in the world is humbug, drama & not worth a mention at all.
What’s of essence is Our True Divine Love!
Our Divine Love is the only Divine Truth there is!

~ Jen
Jennifer Berjis Gilder

Love Spells - Why Don't They Work?? (Videos)

Love Spells: Why Don't They Work?

All too often people ask this question. They have gone to a Psychic (so-called), paid money, sometimes thousands of dollars and still they don't work. Why?

Here are some answers for folks who think that Psychics are supposed to do spells and they are supposed to work.

First let's look at spells. We hear that spells are words. Yes they are, words, that is how we get the idea of "spelling". Words are symbols that we can write or speak, but they are also thoughts and projections, they are simply energy that can create images, ideas, reactions and even emotions. When we sit in front of a TV screen, we are "spellbound" not simply by what we hear audibly, or by what we see, but by the entire combination of what we see and hear. It causes a chemical reaction in our bodies that will put us into a hypnotic trance. We are then programmed, hence the term "television programming". 

What does this tell us, that we are being effected and changed and altered by what we see and hear, but this is also happening by what we don't see or hear. These things are under the radar as it were as we cannot tangibly see or hear them but our brain does not miss it and it is stored in the subconscious until we are triggered in some way to respond to it. The same thing happens when people read books. The book is creating a spell and causing the person to travel to another place in their imagination, or receive information that will alter their perspective on things, or even beliefs, that is propaganda. How does that work? Very well I might say, that is why discernment is key, even when reading materials, and especially so-called educational material including history books.

Cultures worldwide use the technique of storytelling. These stories were given verbally at times, written on cave walls and also written in books with materials of their time. Cultures were able to sustain themselves through these story lines, and as it is said,  history is often written in favor of the victor and the victim has to tell their own sideline story to be heard or even addressed. Sometimes they are annihilated so you get how the conquerors were victorious, but you never hear about the damage that was done to those whom they conquered until someone pushes the issue and brings it out. The Conquering party chooses to ignore the devastating impact of their actions and overlays their success with glamour and fantasy. I. E., Christopher Columbus discovered America.

I must say though, that we are all casting spells every day. How do we do that? Through our thoughts, words and even sometimes our own actions. If we wish anyone harm, that is a spell. If we speak it allowed, that is a spell, case in point. Someone hurts you and you say, "I wish they burn in hell, forever." That in essence is a spell. We are so quick to wish something on someone and yet we seldom realize that those same wishes can be perpetrated against us without our even knowing it. How many people do we hurt, inadvertently, and are not aware of their reaction to the hurt. It is human nature to want to protect oneself from danger or harm, it is also human nature to strike back against a perceived hurt. It is an automatic reflex, that we often teach our children to control, but as adults we do not show this same restraint. We feel justified in condemning someone to the pit of hell because they "murdered" a someone we love. We have the death penalty, along with other punishments that are meted out by society to curtail the masses and harm the perpetrator. We seek retribution, not compassion, understanding or a willingness to forgive. We are supported by such sayings as "Vengeance is Mine" sayith the Lord.. "Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth" and various other adages that affirm our correctness in condemning another. Yet, we often forget this one thing that brings it all full circle. What goes around comes around or do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

So let's get back to what is commonly considered "Spell Casting". I will mention a few here and talk about how come they just don't work.

"Bring him/her back to me" Spells

Many times folks are so disraught over the loss of a loved one they find themselves seeking a "Spell Caster" posing as a Psychic who will bring this loved one back to them. They don't care what they have to do or pay to get this person back into their lives, they want it and they want it now.

WARNING: Most Spell Casters are charlatans. 

They know full well that those type of spells do not work or if they do they are not permanent. They know that the person who wants the spell cast does not understand the nature of free will. They also will not warn the person that the same thing could happen to them. That is, someone could ask for the spell to be cast upon them, to make them be with them, OR to make them stay away from them. Imagine that. Here the person is spelling to bring them closer and then spelling to send them away. I call them charlatans because they know full well that these types of spells do not hold up. Yet they will take the money of the naïve person and "do the work" for them. They will tell them all types of "lies" as to why it didn't work or why it worked but then fell apart. They know why it didn't work to begin with. They know why it can't work to begin with, yet they will take the desperate person's money.

Why did I say desperate?? Because, anyone who needs to cast a spell on another person to MAKE them come back to them is desperate, and they don't need a spell cast, they need counseling to see what is really going on with them on a Psychological/Mental/Spiritual level and not a spell!

The Charlatan Spell Caster knows they cannot be sued if the "work" does not work. Imagine, in a court of law the questions that will be asked if this is presented to a judge. The judge in all honesty would most logically say, "Why would you want to force someone to be with you who clearly does not want to be with you?" And secondly, "Why would you pay someone for a service that cannot be documented or proven that it did or did not work?" You did not hire a carpenter, a plumber a roofer, or any such contractor, you hired a Psychic! Where is the redress for you? Not to mention, you have to pay all the court fees to even drag them into court. Unless you get a class action suit with several victims, you stand there alone. And the Charlatan Spell Casters know this full well!! They can get away with charging you all the money that you, of your own free desperate will, paid!

This is the kind of work that puts real, honest and sincere Psychics in the same category of the illicit, unscrupulous and makes it harder for the true service to be rendered. The true service is one of helping and assisting, not taking advantage of someone's lack of knowledge of how this thing works.

In the spirit realm, we are told there is such a thing as Free Will. In fact, we have been told that we live in a Free Will Universe where all things are possible. However, there are also Universal Laws. These laws are in effect even for those who are unaware of them. If a person is going against another's free will there will be dire consequences. If a Spell is cast for someone to come back and they don't want to come back and find themselves back anyway.. Now, "Houston, we have a problem."

COME BACK TO ME

The person who made this happen can never, ever be secure in the outcome of this action. That is, now they have the person they Spell Cast for and now they know in their hearts that the person is there only because someone made them to be there. And I say this tongue in cheek because what really happened, and stay with me on this, is that, there was a part of that person's essence that wanted to be there.

Imagine  a bowl of jelly beans, all different colors but predominately green ones. These are the ones that DO NOT WANT TO COME BACK. But then there are a few yellow ones, and red ones and maybe a pink one or two. What this Charlatan Spell Caster does is send a "beam of energy" to that tiny part of the person that wants to be there and gives it enough energy to get the person to "change their mind about separation" and renege on their initial choice to go in another direction. The Charlatan does not tell the person that they are working with a tiny aspect of this person's essence and that it may not "take". The Charlatan does not talk to them about the COSMIC CONTRACT that was made and how that contract only complicates things nor do they tell them that they may not get them back IN THIS INCARNATION! These are only some of the various things the "Charlatan Spell Casters" leave out of the equation while they are driving their fancy new cars to the bank!!

Now, let's take a moment and put this vehicle in reverse and take a look at the other Universal Law.

"What goes around comes around."

Someone is going to the Charlatan Spell Caster to ask them to MAKE you return to them. It could be an old lover, from this life or a past life or from across the way, someone you would never even think of befriending let alone being intimate with, and there you are, with rainbow spirals going around in your eyes, and like "Olive Oyl" you are finding yourself enchanted by

this person. How would you take to the knowledge that someone worked a spell on you to make you be with them?? And finally, when you come out of it, you find yourself in a situation that you would not have wanted to be in in a thousand years. How would that feel to you? I always say, "when the shoe is on the other foot it’s a tight squeeze."

Now for that other Universal Law.

"Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You"

You got them back, their little pink jelly bean has charmed them into returning. But you start going through the same toxic, chaotic, disruptive interactions that drove you apart. But this time, the pink jelly bean is strong enough to keep them with you and you are the one who wants out. What do you do now?? Go back to the Charlatan Spell Caster and get them to "break the spell"??  And when you walk in the door, you find the person and their little pink jelly bean sitting there trying to get the Charlatan Spell Caster to make you stay!!

What a vicious cycle you have created. And please, let's just say that is what it is and not some other lovelorn forgotten lover who wants to break you up from your current partner.

Yikes, can this get anymore complicated and destructive to all parties concerned??

My point is, Spell Casting is a very dangerous and onerous path to take for any and all parties concerned. If the Spell Caster does not come through or the Spell doesn't work, they take the risk of having their reputations ruined. It could even go so far as to having them physically or psychically harmed by some jilted desperate person who only wanted their loved one back.

OTHER FORMS OF SPELL CASTING INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT EXCLUSIVE OF:

     1.  Break them up.

     2.  Make him/her stay.

     3.  Make me rich.

     4.  Bring them to me.

     5.  Make him/her love me.

A WORD ABOUT COSMIC CONTRACTS

We are all here, traveling this path to greater awareness and a consciousness awakening, at least we would like to hope so. What we find is that we tend to say things in the heat of passion that we may regret later. Those things said in a heat of passion are often more energized than what we say calmly. Saying things in the heat of passion is like putting high test fuel in the tank instead of economy.

We also forget that we are on a Karmic Treadmill. What I mean by that is, whether or not we believe in re-incarnation, we come back to the same situations over and over again, in our present existence or in the next life for those who believe in re-incarnation. Whatever the case may be, we keep on doing it over and over and over again. The question is Why???

Well, to keep this blog short, let me just talk about Cosmic Contracts and veer away from the Psychological implications. I will save that for another blog.

So, here we are, doing it again. We meet this person, they feel so familiar to us, like we knew them before and some would say, "In a Past Life." We "fall in love" (a misnomer that I have come to question, why are we falling???") and find ourselves yoked to someone, however equally or unequally. We exchange all types of bonding energetic rituals, particularly the exchange of bodily fluids, and especially in sexual congress. We are overjoyed, we have found "The One" we are elated, we are mesmerized, intoxicated and all the other spiraling eyeball adjectives. Then one day we wake up! And for some, never wake up. But for those who do… we wake up and wonder, why can’t I go on?

Think about it.. Did you say any of these things?

"I will love you forever."

"You are my one and only."

"No one can make me feel the way you do."

"Our love will last for eternity."

"You make my world go round."
"I adore you."
"You are my heart, my mind and my soul's Inspiration."

"Without you what good am I?"

I am sure you can add your own.

Why do we do this?

We simply do not realize that we are creating Cosmic Contracts. These contracts will last for as long as you say they will. So, how long is forever??

The time comes, when you want to leave. Where are you going to go? Do you expect the Universe, God, the Angels, the Deities or whomever you invoked while making the contract to ignore you and release you from the contract because you don't want to be committed like that anymore?

Well, I am sure that when you wished, prayed, cried for those other things in your life you wanted to be heard, and you wanted it to be taken care of by whatever Higher Power you called upon. Right??

I often say, Metaphysics is a science. Working in the unseen world is just as scientific as working in the "physical" world. Whatever the case may be, there are Cosmic/Universal Laws. If you make a physical contract with someone, there is an expectation that you will adhere to it. There is an exchange, you do this for that. In the Metaphysical world, if you make a contract.. Then the same thing happens, you do this for that. You prayed for this.. And you got that. You promised, "forever" and you got that "forever."

We take our vows too lightly sometimes in our interactions with others. We take our commitments too lightly as well. And often we say one thing and mean another. We send out mixed messages to the Universe, God, Deities or whomever we send these messages out to and wonder why what we received looks so foreign to what we "thought" we were asking for.

Let's move forward with the knowledge that we are not just a spec of sand on the beach, lying there powerless, let's wake up to the knowledge that we are very powerful and that our words have power, our intentions have power and our actions have power. Let us remember that we effect everything around us and that our behavior can impact on us for the rest of our lives (into eternity.)

Let us be more mindful of who we "curse", spell cast or send out negative energies and remember there is a ricochet effect going on in our Universe, that it will return in all of its glory.

Before you make a Cosmic Contract with someone, take a moment and reflect…..  How long is forever, exactly????????

And finally, please avoid Charlatan Spell Casters. 

If you want something that you lost, accept the loss first, find out why you lost it, search within, and let go. If it was meant to be, it will return of its own accord.

Find your peace in acceptance and do whatever you need to do to move yourself to a healthy state of mind, body and spirit.

Take care of yourself.

Before I Pay My Money I Want To Make Sure You're Accurate. Ask Nana

SJ. says, "I should be able to get one free question before I pay my money."

It's okay, S, I think you should find a Psychic who likes to be challenged. Or who likes to answer trick questions.
This is what I mean.
You could say, "tell me what color my bedroom wall is."
the Psychic responds, "Blue."
You respond, "Wrong, it's not blue, it's yellow. You are a fraud, and I will not give you my money."

A few things that I want to point out.
First of all, you could be lying and your question could be a trick question to just get this challenge on to make a Psychic Prove to  you that they are authentic.
Secondly, unless you were there when the house was built and your room has never had any other color room than the one it is now, than to say the Psychic is a liar is disingenuous. What I mean is, that Psychics don't just see what is present but they can see the past and the future and if you ever thought about your room being blue, and never got around to painting it blue, then the room is blue on the Astral plane.
And lastly, there is no single Psychic that is going to be 100% accurate in all their information, because quiet as it's kept, they are human beings, well let's hope so, and make mistakes, misjudgments or miss stuff altogether.

As for myself, I have not, and will not do the "trick question" routine.. that is a trap, and if a person is sincerely looking for help, they would not put their helper on the defensive by asking them to prove something to them. That is my opinion.
There are several resources that you can use to determine for yourself if a particular Psychic is the one for you.

• Check their reviews
• If possible contact those who reviewed them and ask them personally what they thought of their reading.
• Check them out on the internet, do they have a website?
• Read their bio.
• Are they on YouTube or another video channel where you can actually view and hear them.
• Go into your own personal meditation and ask your inner guides
• Do a muscle testing or crystal pendulum 

If after all this you don't get the results you need then you probably are not really ready for a Psychic reading but may want to get your questions answered from another source.

I am well aware that there are many charlatans out there who do this work just for the money. Believe me, many of them charlatans are spot on, and can make accurate predictions and tell you stuff about your life that you never told a single soul. But the reason they are charlatans is because of their hidden agenda. Then you have the battle of the agendas. Charlatans get lots of people to follow them because their agenda  has become, 'let me see how much money I can milk out of the masses.' They certainly are not about teaching people how to enhance the "gift" within themselves. So you can trust someone who is "accurate" as much as you wish, however, if they have a hidden agenda, their accuracy is no guarantee that you will "not" be taken for a ride.

In this business we have a lot of things at play. But to me, the most important thing is to have each person be as genuine and sincere in their interactions as possible. So rather than looking for "accuracy" it would behoove you to look for a sincere person who does not wish to harm you in anyway, who is willing to admit that they are not perfect, and that they are not the last word on anything and whom you can close your eyes at night and "trust" that you were treated fairly. Other wise, you are playing a dangerous game of "prove yourself" and there is no guarantee that the so called "proof" you get from them will give you peace of mind that you have been treated fairly.

Too many times, the client, customer or querent feels that they are at the mercy of the Psychic, when in actuality the relationship between the Psychic and their client is a partnership. Everyone stands to gain and/or lose in this situation. This is particularly true if there is an exchange of funds. The Client gives and the Psychic receives, if the client does not pay, the Psychic loses, if the Psychic is not honest, the Client loses. In fact, if there is enmity on either account that can affect any future interactions as it relates to reviews, referrals and any other exchanges; clients can discourage others from contacting a certain Psychic and Psychic can do the same by discouraging their fellow Psychic from working with a certain client. With this in mind, all parties are strongly encouraged to work with the highest integrity.

Nowadays, with the internet access available for so many of us, the idea of paying in advance for a service may seem strange to some, but it's like purchasing from eBay. You place an order, you pay for it and then you get the product. When it comes to a psychic reading, there is no guarantee that you will be satisfied with you reading and I don't know of any money-back-guarantee Psychics out there. Again, everyone stands to lose if this work is not done with the utmost integrity.

I think that sometimes there are assumptions that are made  by Psychics and clients alike. From what I can gather, Psychics assume that clients have at least rudimentary understanding of how the Psychic phenomenon works, and I think that Clients often assume or have been influenced by mass media and various other belief systems that Psychics do a certain kind of work and anything other than that is not valid. Too often we have fortune tellers, others doing stage tricks, and guessing games to excite their audiences. These events may range in validity from none to quite a bit, but the idea of "putting on a show" to prove that  they are authentic is for the purpose of pleasing a crowd more so than getting to deeper issues at hand. Sometimes these very folks will get such a momentum going they have to plant people in the audience to keep the amazement going, but in reality, the Psychic phenomenon does not work like that.

There are many people who have abilities, most of the time, they are not even aware of it. There are people who can predict lottery numbers, the death of a loved one, and various other natural disasters or world events, but all too often these predictions are subject to change and these changes smack at the authenticity of the prophet. I.E., the book of Revelations was written over 2000 years ago and people are still waiting for the predictions to manifest themselves. I often wonder what the people of the time thought as they waited for Armageddon to take place during their life times. Imagine if they were told they would have to wait 2000 years or more!!! What if they were told that those predictions would come true in 2012??

What I am saying here is that people often want to put the Psychic to the test, yet they have little knowledge of how it works. Most times they just want to make their immediate situations easier to handle, or get answers about a deceased, or departed loved one. They most definitely will judge the answers they get based on their world view which narrows down to what's happening in their personal life. The Psychic phenomenon does not happen in a vacuum, and the internal and external variables are so abundant that if people are not willing to be flexible and have an open mind they will find themselves sorely disappointed.

A few years ago, I was told by a Psychic, that I would have a van. The Reader saw me driving around in a van. Well, at the time, I was riding in a van, I had to rent vans in order to transport my Performing Arts company, the "Voices Of Africa" Choral & Percussion Ensemble from point "A" to point "B".  Well, I simply assumed he was seeing that, but he assured me that I would be the owner of a van. It actually took 3 years for that to manifest. Yet when he told me that I would have an emotionally draining situation it happened within a few days.

It is said, in ancient African traditions that if the Elder/Reader/Priest speaks of something, they in turn speak it into existence, therefore they are cautioned to be very circumspect about what they say. But it is not only these initiated into the mystical science but every single one of us. We are all Co-creators of our reality and if we are told that something will happen it really does depend on how much energy we put into the idea if in fact it will happen. We do have much more control over our reality than we are encouraged to believe.

My goal as a Psychic is to be a guide, a beacon of light, a road for others to travel as they attempt to know who they are on a deeper level. Whether that makes me famous is irrelevant. One can always be assured that I will work with them with the utmost of integrity giving them the very best of what I have within my abilities. They will never have to worry about seeing me as part of a side show, pretending to know things I do not know or predict things with certainty when I know that life situations are always changing.  Namaste